Recently, a mother of a special needs child attended one of my webinars. She told me that she did so in order to learn more about the signs that a child is being bullied since her child is non-verbal. Her mentioning that her child suffers from a disability and wanting to protect him from being bullied struck a chord with me. Her words reminded me of my own experience of being shamed and bullied because I’m the daughter of a man who happens to have a disability. I told her that I would do my best to raise awareness of the bullying of special needs people as I’ve been myself shamed and bullied because of my dad’s disability.
I’m quoting this extract from my bullying story posted on my website:
“Then there was a member of the non-teaching staff who started to say negative things about me in my back and who would regularly look at me with hatred. However, one day he went too far. This man knew my dad and humiliated me by humiliating my dad. My dad has a disability. He contracted polio as a child in the 1940’s and hence developed a lame leg. Fortunately, his disability didn’t hinder him from getting a good education, a decent government job and from getting married. It was when I heard whispers of degrading malicious comments and mockery about my disabled dad that I understood what had happened. The insulting comments that I heard were the following: ‘How can a disabled man cook??… Since he’s handicapped, that means he’s not productive in his work… Comme li enn handicapé, li bizin enn locataire’ (my dad has always owned his house by the way). And since my dad was handicapped, that we must be dirt poor and that I was a misfit at school since it’s a school whose intake includes many students from a wealthy background. That day I remember crying in the library. I was even branded a liar when they reported that I once told that my dad had an administrative government job. Ironically, this attack on my dad ended when one colleague whose wife had once worked with my father told him that my dad had indeed been her colleague. This cruel attack on my father deeply disgusted and hurt me and made me lose the respect I had for many of my colleagues. This attack was the one which hurt me the most in my bullying experience. A few years later, I confronted the bully. He denied it categorically as I expected him to but at least I’ve had the satisfaction of confronting him about it. He knows what he did.”
My bullies wanted to shame me because of my dad’s disability. But why on earth would I feel ashamed of my father’s disability??? Instead, I was shocked, hurt and disgusted by their cruelty. Each person with a disability, whether physical or mental, is worthy of love and respect. Each one has equal rights and contributes to society. Belittling, discriminating against, shaming and bullying/harassing a physically/mentally-challenged person and/or his family is unacceptable behaviour.
I would like to sign off by saying that I am proud of being the daughter of a man with a disability. And to anyone who has also been shamed and bullied because of their disability or a loved one’s disability, I would love to tell you this: Be proud of who you are and keep thriving in life!