There’s a type of harassment that I’ve recently been made aware of and that is being harassed based on your marital status. Single ladies, divorcees and widows are sometimes maliciously targeted by their coworkers.
Someone shared with me her experience of being regularly targeted by her toxic coworkers because she is still single in her 40s. I’m writing and posting this article with her permission.
The lady told me that the group of bullies has always resented her qualifications, her hard work and her professionalism. I’ve learned from my anti-bullying training and from my own experience that some bullies will target high performers out of envy and frustration. Since they aren’t dedicated workers and are slackers, they will target those who work hard. And they will look for a particular ‘weakness’ about the target to bully him/her. Since the lady is unmarried in her 40’s and that it’s culturally disapproved from their perspective, they will maliciously harass her based on her marital status.
Daily or many times a week, the lady gets malicious comments or insinuations like ‘You should get married, else you’ll be childless and always be alone in your old age’, ‘Hurry up as you’re close to menopause’. They will provoke her continuously and when she asserts her boundaries, they will say, ‘Why are you so angry; oh I understand; that’s because you’re still unmarried and frustrated…’ And to top it all, the comments or insinuations will be accompanied by provocative and sexually-implicit tongue gestures. And they have the nerve to gaslight her by telling her that they have her best interest at heart and that she’s wrongfully interpreting their provocative and sexually-implicit tongue gestures.
This form of disrespect in the workplace is unacceptable. The lady has tried many approaches to make them stop but in vain. She’s tried to politely ask them to stop, she’s sometimes lost patience and lashed out at them and sometimes she’s ignored them. She’s alone against a group of about 10 bullies. What she’s going through is mobbing, covert bullying and social bullying. She’s being mobbed, that is, targeted not by one bully but many bullies. Her bullies are cunning and make sure that they can get away with their malicious targeting by covertly and socially bullying her; constantly commenting or insinuating about her private life and acting as if they have her best interest at heart but are in fact gaslighting her. The bullies have even made sure that the other work departments are aware of her marital status. Moreover, she’s undergoing harassment based on her gender and have to endure regular sexually-implicit tongue gestures. Both are condemned by the Workers’ Right Act (2019).
It’s unbelievable how in 2023, while women are expected to be financially independent, some are being targeted and harassed for being single.
What do you think? Have you ever experienced this kind of bullying and harassment or witnessed it? Or anything similar? Feel free to share in the comments section or to contact me privately.